


Elf on the Shelf

by afterafternoons



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: 12daysofBOM, Adopted Children, Broadway!Connor, Christmas, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, McPriceley Children!, Pandemics, Twins, nurse!Kevin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28133574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterafternoons/pseuds/afterafternoons
Summary: “Did you remember to take the elf out of the box last night?” Connor asks, half asleep and snuggled tight against Kevin as the morning sun streaks through their bedroom window.Kevin’s never woken up faster.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24
Collections: 12 Days of Book of Mormon (2020)





	Elf on the Shelf

**Author's Note:**

> Day 4 of #12DaysofBoM!

Kevin Price and Connor McKinley are (arguably) good parents… 

There’s no shame in admitting that they could always be better… right?

“Did you remember to take the elf out of the box last night?” Connor asks, half asleep and snuggled tight against Kevin as the morning sun streaks through their bedroom window. 

Kevin’s never woken up faster. 

“No!” He panics, jumping out of bed, and tugging on the first shirt from the top of the laundry basket he’d never gotten around to putting away, “No, I did not!”

“You left her on the counter?” Connor hisses, shielding his eyes as he sits up in bed. 

Kevin stares back, dread written all over his face as he nods back, slowly, “I left her on the counter.”

“Oh my God.” Connor groans, sinking back into his pillows and pulling the duvet over his face, but Kevin’s already flinging himself out of their bedroom, socks slipping down the hallway as he makes a beeline for the kitchen counter. 

Reluctantly, Connor is on his heels. 

“You can’t touch her.” He hisses, pushing Kevin away from the box and holding his wrists just out of reach. 

“What do you mean?” Kevin asks, hands hovering only centimeters away. 

“Humans can’t touch the elf.” Connor hisses, staring into Kevin’s eyes, hoping their parental telepathy will kick in any second now…

“Humans can’t touch the elf?” Kevin repeats back, staring into Connor’s eyes until it clicks. He pulls his hands away slowly, the realization dawning, “Humans can’t touch the elf.”

Connor nods.

“What do we do?” Kevin panics, immediately running a hand through his hair, he raises a thumb to his mouth, biting at the nail and Connor’s quick to pull his hand away as he thinks. 

The elf stares back at them: unblinking, smiling, full of holiday cheer, and untouchable with the potential for their kids to walk in any second. 

“She’s in quarantine.” Connor decides. 

“She’s in quarantine?” Kevin asks, and Connor blinks at him. 

“She’s in quarantine. Why are you repeating everything I’m saying?” He asks. 

“Why am I-” Kevin starts, “because you’re not making any sense? I have literally  _ zero _ idea what’s happening right now!”

Connor pushes Kevin back into one of the breakfast stools, moving around the kitchen island to turn the coffee pot on. Nervously, they both stare at the elf in her cardboard prison as the coffee brews. 

“How do we-” Kevin starts, looking to his husband, the question reforming in his mind, “where in the elf lore does it say that they have to quarantine for the first twenty-four hours and how do we explain this for the next twenty-four days?”

Connor’s quiet, thinking. “She’s part of our COVID bubble now, so she doesn’t have to…” 

He trails off. They’re not making any sense. 

“Right.” Kevin says, like he understands, “She’s a part of our COVID bubble and Santa’s COVID bubble, so now that she’s quarantined, she can start hiding tomorrow?” 

“Yes?” Connor answers, even though they’re both unsure. “...If you don’t forget again.”

“If you remind me at a more opportune time.” Kevin quips back, still staring at the elf. 

“Oh my God.” Connor realizes, looking to Kevin in horror, and as evidenced by the day’s events thus far, that sentiment is never good, “Kurtis told me Uncle Chris told him Santa has COVID.” 

“W-Why did he do that?” Kevin asks, unsure whether he wants to laugh or cry. 

Connor stutters, “I- it was kind of funny when he told me that, because that would mean we wouldn’t have to make cookies because Santa can’t taste them, right? And there would be less presents because Santa is sick, but now I’m thinking about it and-”

They both look to the elf. 

Kevin says it first, face falling, “The elf is gonna give us COVID.” 

“Not unless she maintains a distance of six-feet from Santa and wears her mask!” Connor supplies, “She can still report back to him!”

“Oh my God.” Kevin groans, another realization dawning, “Now we can’t take family pictures with the mall Santa for Aalyiah’s first Christmas.” 

Connor pinches the bridge of his nose, “We could in fourteen days?” 

“What and let our kids think you’re only sick for fourteen days?” Kevin challenges and Connor throws his hands up. 

“I don’t know!” He concedes, “I don’t know.  **One normal Christmas, that’s all I wanted.** ” 

“We’re gonna lie to our kids about the virus?” Kevin keeps going and Connor stares dead into Kevin’s eyes, voice dropping to a whisper. 

“We’re already lying!” He gestures wildly to the Christmas tree and the elf. 

“It’s not lying!” Kevin whisper-yells back, “It’s _ believing _ ! And your stupid friend is the one who got us into this mess in the first place!”

Connor groans, reaching for a coffee mug. 

“Babe,” Kevin says, another realization dawning, “Santa is in a high-risk category.” 

“Oh my God.” Connor groans again. He could cry, he really could. “Now we’re going to have to assure our kids that Santa’s not going to die.” 

“How many Zoom classes do you think they’ve told?” Kevin asks tentatively and the horror written across Connor’s face deepens. 

“Do you think I’m going to have to call the other parents?” 

“We don’t know that they’ve said anything?” Kevin offers, but they’re still saying everything like it’s a question. 

Connor bites nervously at his lower lip before pulling out his phone, consulting Google. 

“What’re you doing?” Kevin asks over his coffee, eyebrows drawn together. 

“I’m looking something up-” Connor says, obviously, holding up a hand to silence his husband. Kevin sits back, rejected. 

The elf continues to stare. 

“Oh thank God,” Connor breathes, “Dr. Fauci says Santa can’t get COVID.” He holds out his phone, a USA Today article queued up. 

Then, after a couple more taps. “But we should sprinkle some cinnamon around her for good measure,” He says, “it has healing properties for the elf and it might help her immune system right now.”

Kevin winces at the thought of loose cinnamon sitting on his kitchen counters for an entire day. “You know she’s not  _ actually _ sick, right?”

“She could be asymptomatic, Kevin.” Connor replies pointedly. Kevin looks back to the elf. 

She smiles back, unmoving. 

Kevin retreats to the pantry. The first shake of cinnamon is the hardest, his fingers trembling, but he sprinkles it around her box in a circle to appease his husband. 

“That’s a COVID bubble if I ever saw one.” Connor nods, satisfied, as he stirs sugar into his coffee. 

Kevin’s just glad he wasn’t caught red-handed. 

Together, they take their coffees to the sectional recliner, settling in to watch the morning news.

“Does the elf have a name?” Connor asks, head on Kevin’s shoulder. 

Kevin thinks, “Didn’t she come with, like, a birth certificate?”

Connor nods slowly. He’s just not sure where they put it. 

“Who do you think will find her first?” Kevin asks. 

“One of the twins, probably, their biological clocks are just rude.” Connor replies, “The two of them, thinking I want to be a parent at 7AM. I’m barely functioning by then.” 

“I have to be a nurse at 4AM some days.” Kevin pouts and Connor presses a kiss to his lips. 

“I’m thankful for you.” Connor coos, “My lil’ essential worker.” 

Kevin rolls his eyes, accepting the kiss. 

Down the hall, a bedroom door creaks open and Connor and Kevin share a wide-eyed, silent glance with one another and the elf as bare feet come padding down the hall. 

Caison, with Kevin’s long lashes and floppy brown hair, notices his parents before the elf; silently joining in with the snuggle fest on the couch as he wakes up. He’d always been the more affectionate of the twins.

Kevin runs a hand through his son’s hair. “Did you sleep well?” 

Caison nods silently. 

“Excited to start your advent calendar?” Connor asks, and Caison nods again, still waking up. 

Any hope of watching the morning news had been short lived, as Kevin flips the channel over to Disney Jr. 

Connor reaches for his coffee, both of the parents exchanging another look with the elf. 

And not too much longer after Caison finally wakes up, engaged in the TV program, does Kurtis come padding down the hall. 

He does a double take, noticing the elf in the box. 

“Why is  _ Noelle _ in a box?” He asks and Kevin looks over the back of the couch. 

“She’s quarantining.” Connor answers, glancing to Kevin now that they know the name, “All of the elves have to this year.”

Caison sits up, gripping the back of the couch as he gets a good look at the elf, he turns his head back to his parents with wide eyes, “For the whole month?” 

“No, not for the whole month.” Kevin promises, “Just for the first night.”

“Uncle Chris says Santa has COVID.” Kurtis says, matter-of-factly as he joins his brother on the couch, attention briefly taken by the television program. 

“Uncle Chris is wrong.” Kevin informs him, welcoming his other son into his side, “Dr. Fauci says Santa can’t get COVID.”

“But he still has to be extra careful this year.” Connor adds, “Because we don’t want anyone to get sick, right?” 

The twins nod dutifully, and Kevin smiles. 

“You guys are gonna introduce Aaliyah to Noelle when she wakes up, right?” He asks, wanting to integrate their adopted daughter into the family traditions. 

“When she wakes up you guys can open your advent calendars for December 1st.” Connor agrees. 

Lazy days like this are best, the parents decide, despite the chaos the morning had brought. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments appreciated!   
> I'm in Tumblr @afterafternoons


End file.
